


For John

by caringis_notanadvantage



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, His Last Vow, Implied Character Death, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:58:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caringis_notanadvantage/pseuds/caringis_notanadvantage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For John. </p>
<p>It had become a mantra ever since he jumped from the roof. Every kill, every lie every step he had taken away from his precious London, had been for John.</p>
<p>To keep him safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_For John._

It had become a mantra ever since he jumped from the roof. Every kill, every lie every step he had taken away from his precious London, had been for John.

 

To keep him safe.

 

To keep him alive.

 

To give him peace.

 

And when he returned with too many scars to count, he let John add to them. They were after all there for him, so he should be allowed to leave his own mark.

 

He adored Mary.

 

_For John._

He tried his hardest to not ruin the wedding

 

_For John._

Don’t solve the case. Save the life.

 

_For John_

And as Magnussen appeared on the scene. Sherlock pulled back, to let the happy couple have their so called honeymoon period. Because John deserved it.

 

And when Mary turned out to be a psychopath, well… Sherlock couldn’t find it in himself to be surprised. John had a type after all.

 

All decisions.

 

_For John_

Shooting Magnusson was

 

_For John_

Perhaps a bit stupid, he could admit to that as he was on course towards his own death. But it ensured that John would be safe.

 

Mary would be safe

 

And the baby

 

_For. John._

He had killed, he had lied, he had been tortured.

 

_For John_

He had been dead in every sense but the literal.

 

_For John_

And whilst he knew that this was the end.

 

That the handshake would be the last.

 

That John would go back to his house and his wife and his child and his mind-numbing day job at the surgery

 

That Mycroft would stare at his phone is six months time and sigh because he would know

 

That this was the last.

 

Because whilst the game was never over, it did get new players.

 

And unfortunately Sherlock Holmes was a chess piece of the past.

 

But none of it mattered.

 

Not the fact that Sherlock would be dead in about six months, nor the fact that he would never see his best and only friend again.

 

Because he, Sherlock Holmes, had saved John’s life.

 

The consequences of an action did not matter as long as the outcome was the same.

 

John. Alive.

 

Sherlock turned to look out the window.

 

High, high above the sky.

 

Soon to be forgotten.

 

But it was okay.

 

_For John._

Completely okay.

_Always._


	2. He's an idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the b side, to the first part.

_He’s an idiot_

It wasn’t a mantra per say.

 

It was a sigh

 

A roll of the eyes

 

It was a breathless smile after a chase

 

_He’s an idiot_

Ever since that first meeting, he had realised that Sherlock Holmes?

 

_He’s an idiot._

For every show off

 

For every scathing remark

 

For every ‘it’s just transport, John’

 

For every deduction

 

_He’s an idiot_

He has muttered it with laughter as he watched him searching for cigarettes.

 

He has hitched it through tears at an empty grave that felt so full

 

He has punched it out at those bloody cheekbones as he had the fucking nerve to...

 

_He’s an idiot_

As he walked the whole wedding party through what could only be described as love letter to their friendship all John could think, as he fought against the pressing tears and the overwhelming sense of

 

_He’s an idiot_

As Sherlock took the gun from his pocket and pointed it at the rat to Magnussen and screamed a ‘Happy Christmas’, John’s mind went silent with one big

 

_He’s an idiot_

“Give Mary my love and tell her that she’s safe now”

 

_He’s an idiot_

And as he was transported away from that ridiculous place by Mycroft’s agents, and the helicopter had landed and everything was so loud with all the shouting and the cars and the silence and the

 

_He’s an idiot_

Sherlock did …. For him.

 

For Mary

 

Out of some sense of what?

 

Guilt?

 

Love???

 

????

 

_He’s an idiot_

This sigh, this scream, this silence

 

This

 

Was all John could think about in the days afterwards.

 

In the silence from Mary.

 

In the prison he couldn’t bear to visit, but did anyway

 

_He’s an idiot_

Standing there at the airfield trying to both not mention the fact that he …

 

That Sherlock probably wouldn’t survive.

 

That he was essentially being flown off to his death, however, this time there would be no magic trick.

No, Brother dear to the rescue

 

John was so so so close to gasping it, this this this thing. The sighs and the smiles and the punches and this big thing that had only grown larger inside of him but..

 

_He’s an idiot_

“ _Don’t look at me like that. Practically everyone is”_

 

And yet, John wished that he wasn’t an idiot.

 

So he could tell him not to leave him again, because dammit he couldn’t grieve him for a second time and there should be laws against this

 

but

 

_H_ _e’s an idiot_

 

_Always_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again it is un beta'd.. But here it is. The b-side to my little drabble written in the middle of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a ... B side to this tiny little drabble.. But I kind of wanted to gauge the reception of the fic before I posted the rest. So yeah, if anyone feels up for about 400 words more of my silly HLV thoughts, then I might post them. Also it hasn't been beta'd so bear with any typos and stuff.


End file.
